The Fear of Success

I've just spent a while looking for the name of the phobia of success for the title to this blog. I couldn't find it, though I did learn that there was such a thing as a fear of corners.

Anyway, sometimes I think I have it or at least part of me does. Last weekend, I was approaching the end of the latest narrative restructuring of Part Two. What would follow would be printing out Part Two in its entirety and filling in all the little missing details that would turn a sketch into a picture.

But, as I approached the final scenes that needed fixing, my mind began to turn to mush. Words and inspiration stopped coming and though I knew what I needed to do, it simply wouldn’t take the step from my head to the page. It's like being so excited or intimidated by the oncoming next stage that my mind's hand started to shake, my mind’s eye began to blur. So, I had to stop and go back to some earlier stuff that I knew needed fixing, hoping that when I go back to the end I'll be in a calmer, more productive state.

There is little else to report. Magazines have yet to respond to / publish my work and life, as ever, is ticking along nicely, supplying me with what I need but keeping back many things that I want, which, in it's own way, is the sweetest life gets sometimes. It’s more potential than past.

Thanks for reading.

Schrodinger's Publication Date

Planning is great. Other than the Saturday, on which I was working on a very hard scene, writing has been smooth sailing. It's been one of those weeks where, after all the weeks of worrying and stressing, writing has just come easy and you know exactly why this is the kind of thing you want to do (hopefully) for the rest of your life.

I've been writing and changing scenes in accordance with the new plan, some things have changes (for the better I hope) as they have occurred to me but the rest is ticking along nicely. I might even have finished by the end of the month!

Short story front is quiet. Murky Depths turned down The Old Factory Award.

"It's a very clever piece of wordplay. However, we're going to pass on this as it doesn't seem like a Murky Depths piece to us. "

So there that is.

Revolution SF have still to publish No Longer Living but I'm being patient and don't really mind not knowing when it will be. It's a philosophy that borders on quantum physics, Schrodinger's Publication Date, it is not defined or measured simply by the act me looking. It just is, whether I know the date or not.

Promises and Earworm Turns are going to get a bit of an update so I can start sending them again. Just re-read them recently and think they could do with it just to make sure that they're the best stories they can be. That's the worry about sending stories, you always wonder if they're turning it away because of a gaping plot hole they didn't bother telling you about, poor writing, the fact that you're a nobody when they could be publishing somebodies or a mixture of all of the above and more. This is just my little precaution so I can tell myself "It's all them, Tiger, it's not you. It's all them."

Thanks for reading

All in the Planning

A long while since I blogged.

Househunting and subsequent moving kicked my ass but it feels worth it now. I have a wonderful view of Canary Wharf, the Gherkin and the London Eye from my bedroom window, which is nice. The room is smaller than my last but that doesn't really bother my, as long as I have room for my desk and laptop I'm happy.

I've spent the last while reading through the whole book and writing out notes for improving Part One. It's quite old and not up to my current standard but still pretty solid. I'm worried the whole thing might be like painting a bridge; once you've reached one end the other end needs doing again. I'll have to make sure that doesn't happen.

But I also made a few notes for the first half of Part Two and then I actually planned what needs to happen in the second half. I've never actually planned before and what I've done seems pretty good. Perhaps I should plan more often. During the actual writing I also came up with a keystone plotting idea that should hold the entire second half of the second act together, give it some authenticity. Good stuff.

On the short story front, Rev SF are still to publish No Longer Living, should be coming soon and Murky Depths are currently 'enjoying' (my word, not there's) The Old Factory Award. Here's hoping.

They have a great writing competition coming up with Mike Carey (legend). I was going to save Promises for it, a story I was sure would win it, but it turns out that Mike has written a story starter and we have to finish it. A bit disappointing but I might still enter and see what happens.

Thanks for reading.

Life has its way

House hunting is a pain.

Suffice to say that due to the stress of house hunting, being sick (I'm not sure if these two things were entirely disconnected) and recovering from those two things, I've done very little writing this week.

I suppose life just has its own way sometimes and you have to stand back and let it. Hopefully, when I get back into it, it'll be with a clearer head and some fresh perspective.

I didn't win this quarter's Writer of the Future competition but that's alright, I didn't reall expect to. But I've heard that Murky Depths will be having a writing competition in a few monthsy judged by Mike Carey, so I'm going to hold back Promises until then. I'm sure it's the winning story.

Kids didn't get taken by Escape Clause, though I was told that it was given serious consideration, which was nice. Other than that, things are ticking along nicely.

Thanks for reading.

Work, VIctory,then Work Again

So No Longer Living is now with Revolution SF. I have been told that there's a few other stories ahead of mine in the queue but that it should appear soon. Hurray!

The second publishing makes me quite happy, though I am of the personality that when I work hard for something day after day, week after week, year after year when I eventually get it I smile, nod to myself, say 'Good. Finally.' And then get back to work and yearning, though maybe now I'm aiming for a slightly higher profile magazine or whatever.

So I'm still working on the novel, the usual doubts and 'no one will ever think this is good' worries assailing me. I also took a stab at a new short story Back to the City, which might start seeing magazines in the near future, but perhaps not. I want this one to be a bit special with a certain feel to it and make it resemble the one I have in my head, which isn’t quite coming out onto the page yet. That might mean taking my time with it.

Thanks for reading.

The Pre-Pub Jitters

You see? I'm back! Just as promised!

It's been a fine week this week.

I sent the final, final draft to Revolution SF. I read it over and over again until the words lost all meaning, gave it to friends and relatives and then started the process all over again. I checked for plot holes, ironed out any creases or ambiguities in the phrasing. I plucked our errant commas and put them back where they were needed (wriggly little things) and still I stressed that as soon as it got published there'd be a glaring error staring me in the face. And then, years from now all by lovely Hugo, Bram Stoker and Nebula awards would be snatched from me as a result.

I've also become worried about Rights and worry that I'm a poor innocent author who's about to shafted. Not by Rev SF of course, I'm sure their lovely, but it has occurred to me that I'm easy prey. So I'm going to the bookshop soon to find a couple of books on the subject. No flies on this guy, they'll soon say!

Basically, I swallowed my fear and sent the final draft off. I was very much in danger of over-editing and employing a 'I'm not sure where the commas go anymore so I burning the whole paragraph down' mentality. That's probably the best time to let a story go, if not a mite sooner.

Other than that I've finished with chapters 27-29 which brings me to the half way point. Hurray! I'm very optimistic about the future of the novel.

I'm in the throes of house hunting at the mo. Not fun but there you go, that's like.

I've also finished Fever Crumb. Brilliant! A worthy addition to the series. I'd say it was aimed at 9 - 12 but it has swearing in it. Swearing! On page 167 to be precise. It has 'shit' Excellent. I love swearing in books. Kids books should have it sometimes. It makes things more real.

Anyway, that's enough from me.

Thanks for reading.

Viva la Revolution

A long time since I blogged.

Much has happened.

Revolution SF (a fine, fine publication) has taken on No Longer Living. The suggested edits arrived last Thursday and I have agreed with most of the points. The story has been trimmed and I have ironed out the creases removing those pieces have left. Though there's no deadline I'm terrified of sending the final cut to them. It's the one everyone will be reading and I'm hoping there isn't some problem so glaringly obvious that it'll make me a laughing stock.

It's currently going around a few friends and relatives for proof reading just in case.

I'm reaching the halfway point of Act Two, and thus the halfway point of the novel, which is nice. Hoping I'll have the whole Act finished by September.

I'm house hunting at the moment, which is a pain in the arse.

I met China Mieville at a signing for his new book The City & The City. He was interesting and said something like 'maintaining fidelity to the paradigm’, which was odd. It must be hard to not seem pretentious when he's clearly so much better than the rest of us. I read the new book and found it enjoyable. Now reading Fever Crumb. Awesome.

I'm really going to try to blog regularly again. For reasons I'll explain another time it's just dropped out of my regular routine and along with the numerous rejections from numerous publications I've been getting I guess I was losing a little faith in this whole writing malarky. But Revolution SF have seen to that. Hurray!

Just need to be published one more this year and I'll have achieved my year's goal.

Best get back to work.

Thanks for reading. Hopefully, you'll hear from me again soon.