Life has its way

House hunting is a pain.

Suffice to say that due to the stress of house hunting, being sick (I'm not sure if these two things were entirely disconnected) and recovering from those two things, I've done very little writing this week.

I suppose life just has its own way sometimes and you have to stand back and let it. Hopefully, when I get back into it, it'll be with a clearer head and some fresh perspective.

I didn't win this quarter's Writer of the Future competition but that's alright, I didn't reall expect to. But I've heard that Murky Depths will be having a writing competition in a few monthsy judged by Mike Carey, so I'm going to hold back Promises until then. I'm sure it's the winning story.

Kids didn't get taken by Escape Clause, though I was told that it was given serious consideration, which was nice. Other than that, things are ticking along nicely.

Thanks for reading.

Work, VIctory,then Work Again

So No Longer Living is now with Revolution SF. I have been told that there's a few other stories ahead of mine in the queue but that it should appear soon. Hurray!

The second publishing makes me quite happy, though I am of the personality that when I work hard for something day after day, week after week, year after year when I eventually get it I smile, nod to myself, say 'Good. Finally.' And then get back to work and yearning, though maybe now I'm aiming for a slightly higher profile magazine or whatever.

So I'm still working on the novel, the usual doubts and 'no one will ever think this is good' worries assailing me. I also took a stab at a new short story Back to the City, which might start seeing magazines in the near future, but perhaps not. I want this one to be a bit special with a certain feel to it and make it resemble the one I have in my head, which isn’t quite coming out onto the page yet. That might mean taking my time with it.

Thanks for reading.

Viva la Revolution

A long time since I blogged.

Much has happened.

Revolution SF (a fine, fine publication) has taken on No Longer Living. The suggested edits arrived last Thursday and I have agreed with most of the points. The story has been trimmed and I have ironed out the creases removing those pieces have left. Though there's no deadline I'm terrified of sending the final cut to them. It's the one everyone will be reading and I'm hoping there isn't some problem so glaringly obvious that it'll make me a laughing stock.

It's currently going around a few friends and relatives for proof reading just in case.

I'm reaching the halfway point of Act Two, and thus the halfway point of the novel, which is nice. Hoping I'll have the whole Act finished by September.

I'm house hunting at the moment, which is a pain in the arse.

I met China Mieville at a signing for his new book The City & The City. He was interesting and said something like 'maintaining fidelity to the paradigm’, which was odd. It must be hard to not seem pretentious when he's clearly so much better than the rest of us. I read the new book and found it enjoyable. Now reading Fever Crumb. Awesome.

I'm really going to try to blog regularly again. For reasons I'll explain another time it's just dropped out of my regular routine and along with the numerous rejections from numerous publications I've been getting I guess I was losing a little faith in this whole writing malarky. But Revolution SF have seen to that. Hurray!

Just need to be published one more this year and I'll have achieved my year's goal.

Best get back to work.

Thanks for reading. Hopefully, you'll hear from me again soon.

Remembering

At the moment I'm remembering that there's a lot to remember about writing.

I have to remember that I'm allowed to write in short, descriptive sentences, not every one of them has to be some perfectly crafted epitome of the English language. Even Terry Pratchett (well down on the knighthood, old boy) spends most of his time just writing what he sees in his head, not fussing that the sentence is too simple. If it works it works.

I'm still working on Act Two. April will be a year I've been working on it and I'm getting sick of it. Felt I should have a finished novel by now, or be close to one at least. I might have been too fussy with it, trying to hard, but I think I might like what I have now and if I don't, well then I don't think I'm going to produce any better. I've got to stick with what my brain has given me. Neil Gaiman and other authors often talk of how the story in their head wasn't the same as the one that emerged on the page. I have to remember that too.

More practically, since I'm working on the middle of the book I have to remember everything that came before in Act One and what will happen in Act Three. Maybe this is simply the hardest part of the novel. I can't wait to get started on Act Three. I want this all to be finished so I can find out how this ends.

In the end, even if I keep working hard and produce a novel written to the best of my ability, it still doesn't mean I'll get published. All it takes is for a handful of people in charge to not like it or have schedules too full or have someone too tired to really read it and reject it and it's out. Luck counts for a lot and it counts for everyone. I have to remember that too.

Still nothing on the magazine front. I really want to be published soon, just a little wink from someone that I'm on the right track. For all I know a lot of people are rejecting me for one reason, like I over-describe or that my stories are too cliched and I'll never know that, so I might just be wasting my time. An idiot doesn't know he's an idiot, right?

Anyway, chin up. I'll just keep plugging away and hope for the best. All I can do is my best.

Thanks for reading.

Where did all my work go?

I'm so glad that I'm struggling with the novel.

The last few days I barely managed anything. I simply paced whatever room I was writing in, thinking, planning and trying to see my way clear of continuing this story. I didn't manage much actual words on paper but, do you know what? What I had, I liked.

So why, just when I've been starting to get back into a rhythm, did the file corrupt and I lost the last three day's work?

Bloody computer.

Anyhoo, all is well otherwise, stories are with people and Kids Today is finished and may soon be sent to people. Would very much like to be published again. The urge; she itches.

Back for 2009

Hello again,

I have been away for a while for the seasonal holidays and am feeling much refreshed. Over the holidays I finished The Old Factory Award, started on another (I know, again) draft on Act Two of the novel and Earworm Turns was rejected by Weird Tales. I also increased my material wealth, which was nice.

As before, it was the beginning to Act Two I didn't like. It just wasn't up to scratch. So I'm simplifying, concentrating on the more integral parts and doing things a different way. Old way just felt like the main character going around seeing things, this time I'm trying to personalise it, trying to keep it tied to the characters the readers know and (hopefully) care about. We'll see how it goes.

Anyway, Promises, Promises has gone to Weird Tales, now. Really hope Ann Vandermeer likes it, and Earworm is off to Murky Depths. Here's hoping. I want two things published at least by end of '09. That's the aim, and maybe a finished novel. That's the other aim. Here's hoping.

Good to be back over the holidays.

Thanks for reading.

Life on the Fast Lane

I can only apologise for missing last week's post.

Luckily, there is little to report these past two weeks. Things have been progressing very nicely with the novel with chapters 21 - 25 now complete (until draft three, that is). I still have niggling feeling about them. There's still a lot of stuff I want to put in on the theme but I think any more might be too much, these things need a delicate touch, I fancy.

All stories are still with magazines, especially hopeful about RevolutionSF and F&SF, either one of those on my credits will be a godsend.

Should check my logs and see when I sent Of The Father to Something Wicked. They did say they have a long response time but maybe I should just double check. Hmmmm.

Anyway, back to work.

Thanks for reading.

Rejection with Comments

A slightly late blog this week.

Well, the twenty-fifth birthday celebrations are over and what fun they were.

Amanda Palmer was utterly amazing and who was on stage with her for a bit? Neil freaking Gaiman!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! How's that for a birthday treat?

As predicted, twenty-five is feeling pretty good and has been off to a good start.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, after two years of blogging I can't remember and can't be arsed to look, but for each story I write I put it in a file of its own along with a small excel document to track where I've sent it. Each has a status. There's 'pending', 'rejected', 'accepted' (this, of course, appears only once) and the much loved 'rejected with comments'. In the past few days I've received two of these bad boys.

RevolutionSF (who have published the likes of Gene Wolfe and Ray Bradbury) rejected Earworm Turns saying:
"I like your writing style, and the story kept me engaged to the end."

Which was nice.

And I received my first non-standard rejection from F&SF (Stephen King, Daniel Keyes, Ray Bradbury again) who rejected No Longer Living while saying:
"There's nice writing here."

So there we go. I seem to be impressing the right people, now if only they'll bloody accept something I've written.

Oh, well, Promises, Promises is off the production line. Let's see what they make of that.

Reconciling our differences

You are now reading the blog of a published author. Twisted Tongue # 11 went out Friday night and I couldn’t be more pleased. I’ve got the free PDF version and am going to get a couple of printed copies for prosperity. I can’t believe how a short a piece it was, barely over a magazine page. Looking back, it seems quite raw and I find that almost cute.

Other stories are still with mags, haven’t heard back from them yet, should chase up a couple today.

For those of you who are regular readers (or have been in my vicinity at any time these past few months) you’ll know I’ve been in a crisis, worrying about my writing, especially about my novel. I’m slowly getting back to my old self, trying to just sit and have fun with it rather than angsting over every word. It’s slowly beginning to work I think, but it would be nice for those magazine editors to write back and tell me my most recent stuff is quite good. I need a bit of a morale boost.

Just playing about with Promises at the moment, trying to make it a bit better. As usual these days I don’t think its great but can’t for the life of me really see what’s wrong with it, I just wish it was better. I’ll just have to submit it and see. Will hopefully have a draft done in the next couple of days then back to the novel.

Just need to keep my nose to the grindstone and hope it all comes out fine in the end.

Thanks for reading.

And I suppose I should mention it. A friend of mine from work died last week and I miss her a lot. She was always there to smile and enthuse about books and things with me in the tea room. Things just won’t be the same without her.

Thinking Hard, Thinking Soft

Been a while since I posted.

I've been on holiday the past week. By holiday I mean from my day job. Been staying at my parents in the country writing for about 5 - 7 hours a day. Can't say I got as much done as I'd like but I at least got some done.

I was givcn some nice advice about writing a couple of weeks ago in Bloomsbury Bowling Alley of all places. Well, actually, the girl was talking about bowling but it all boiled down to the same thing. The amateurs, she said, start off better than the pros because they don't care. The pros over think the ams just have a laugh and do well.

Though I don't want to call myself a pro (rumour is that Twisted Tongue # 11 starring your truly is released tomorrow) but I think being published has caused a change. Now I look at everything I do, especially the novel, and ask will this we published? Always the answer is no. I see a small error, get pissed off and end up rewriting and being annoyed that that isn't perfect either. But the truth is, and always has been, nothing I write will ever be word perfect, nothing anyone writes is ever word perfect. I have to reacquaint myself with that fact.

I've been trying to keep that in mind while I've been going back to the novel. it's worked to a degree but I just have to try and go back to enjoying myself, knowing that it isn't perfect but it's still damn good (in my opinion). All I can do is my best and hope its good enough, not my best and tell myself is shit and start over again.

Everything else is fine. Something Wicked have Of The Father and Weird Tales have No Longer Living.

Thanks for Reading.

Sweet Blessed Relief

Well, it turned out that there was something wrong with Do All Prey Dream, just as I had foreseen. Everything, everything was wrong.

So, I've worked my way through it, gave it the usual third draft treatment of pacing up and down my room, reading it aloud and making changes. I took out long pages and almost halved the bloody thing, changed the ending and changed the entire sentiment. There's a lot there still intact but a lot has changed. And it's now called No Longer Living. I'll start sending it out soon, I haven't yet decided on a first but probably one of the biggies. I'll get started on redrafting Promises, Promises tomorrow.

The novel is sitting on the sidelines, waiting patiently. I look forward to going back to it and enjoying the fresh look time apart will give me. Also, spending time doing a third draft of a story has reminded me how much I'll change in that draft so it's reassuring that though much of the novel's second draft is pants that'll get fixed in the third. Aaaah, sweet blessed relief.

Another rejection this week from Revolution SF:

"There's a lot of good writing here but the story just didn't grab me."

So, standard fair there. I'm going to send it on to Something Wicked next.

Thanks for reading.

First you get the credit

For those of you that kept up with the Waterstone's What's Your Story competition, it was a surprise to no one that I didn't win. I did quite like the winners, especially The Day a Robot Appeared in the Vegetable Patch.

But, I did promise to post up my entry on the blog if I didn't win, so you'll be able to find it at the bottom.

The novel is still going. Really tired of it at the moment. "What? It needs even more work?" I cry. I really, really, really want to work on something else but I really, really, really shouldn't. Yes, there's still a lot of work to be done, yes, I could never get a penny from it in the end. But it needs to be done. I just need to man up and slog on.

Of The Father is now going to Revolution SF. I went through a long list of mags suggested by the Horror Writers Association, starting with the pro mags, then the pro zines, then the semi-pro mags, then the semi-pro zines. I judged all the ones I thought might like Of The Father on the following criteria a) who else have they published? b) How much do they pay? c) does the mag look good?

Revolution SF pays nothing and looks, well it's just text on a screen pretty much, but they have published Gene Wolfe in the past and it's kudos like that I'm looking for. Cash is nice but it's credit I need, I just hope cash will one day follow.

Anyway, here is the story. I hope you enjoy.

*Ahem*

Paperbound

By Grey Freeman

I was waiting for you to leave, a small smile touching my lips as I watch the last of you switch off the lights, slipping the bookshop back into dark velvet.

The books began to talk; the sports biographies catcalling from their shelves, wolf whistling to the blushing romance novels.

My friends, the children’s books, whisper “DON’T!” as I sneak out from between my pages and the shop falls into horrified silence as my pen begins to murmur across the card left behind on the dark shop counter.

It is not our place, we books, to create. Ours is to perform, to re-enact our stories for you again and again. But tonight, I am free to read and to imagine. While you are gone, I am free to write.

Stone in my Hand

A late post. I was in Barcelona, dancing it up.

I've just finished a rather bad book. It's not out yet but it will be (in the US at least). I won't name names, I'm not that mean, the author spent time making something and I'm sure they loved doing it. But I hated it.

I thought the idea was mediocre and the characters under developed. I didn't care about them and never actually understood their motivations or anything about the world they inhabited. It was lazy and ill-conceived with characters doing odd things and making odd decisions just so they could progress the plot along, their choices leading to capture or stumbling across important plot points they wouldn't have found otherwise. Anyway, it was very bad and it annoyed me that it actually has been picked up by a large US publishers.

What's worse is that after I finished it I picked up my own manuscript to work on it. I'm currently rereading chapters 21-25 to give them a polish. But when I looked at it it was like 'The dirt's still on me! The dirt's still on me!' I became terrified that I might be making all the same mistakes. I don't think I am. I hope I'm not. I try hard to get across my characters points of view, I rewrite whole chunks according to how I think my characters would react, letting them drive the plot, not the other way around.

I suppose there's a thin line between good writing and bad writing. Maybe, what I didn't like about the book was the author's flimsy grasp of story structure and not their actual writing. In short, I'm not sure if I can throw stones, I'm checking my walls to make sure they're not made of glass.

I'll just have to have confidence that what I'm doing is better.

Anyway, the novel is progressing, heard nothing from TT so I assume that's progressing nicely and I haven't heard from Waterstones. I'm beginning to think I haven't won. Oh, well, I'll post my entry on the blog as soon as its confirmed I didn't.

Thanks for reading.

The Joy of Admin

Hello again.

Another short post.

Things are ticking along nicely, writing (a bit too slowly for my liking) some new scenes for Act Two at the mo with an eye for cutting out a whole bunch later on when I reach them. After watching Hancock, which I thought could have been amazing but it didn't develop its ideas, I decided to lose an entire character from the story so I have to go back and rewrite bits of Act One to omit them.

Now I have to go write a short bio for Twisted Tongue.

Thanks for reading.

Middle of the Road

Hello all.

As of this morning, I semi-officially reached the halfway mark of the novel. I still need to look back over my last stint of work and much will still need to be changed but I'm happy with what I've done (I said that about it in the first draft, but still).

Looking into the second half of Act Two now. Much needs to be done, things set up for part three and generally cutting out bits that have been altered by new events in the first half. It's all very daunting, but hey, I'll worry about that in the morning.

Nice to reach a landmark.

Other than that, I've not heard any more from Twisted Tongue. I'm assuming that means that everything is fine and Waterstones have yet to get in touch but haven't declared the winners yet so I'm also thinking of that as a good sign.

I'm all about the optimism.

Also, friend Rob has another poem in the TLS this coming Thursday. Bravo to him. I may poison him at the barbeque next weekend. Someone has to stop that poetry-writing juggernaut.

Back on Track

My internet was down last week, hence no blog.

Which is nice since I didn't have much to say last week.

This week however has been a good one. The novel feels like it's back on track. I completely stormed it this weekend and got lots done and I'm feeling my usual happy self again.

I was rejected by Murky Depths, yesterday, which is a shame. They said it was good and that I'd done a fine job getting into the head of the main character but they're not looking for a story like it in that length. Or as Roy Walker would have put it "It's Good But It's Not Good Enough."

I think the problem is that though I am now good enough to be published, I am not published enough to be published.

Which makes my next piece of news very contradictory as I am being published. Twisted Tongue got back to me and said that they would love to publish me. Aces. I shall be in their August issue and if I make editor's choice I'll get £10! Hurrah! I'm happy more for the kudos of course, to have one publishing credential on my covering letter shall be a right feather in my cap and no mistake and editor's choice would be even nicer.

They've asked for a short bio but I meekly requested to hold off until I find out whether or not I can also put Waterstones WYS competition winner. Let's see people talk that Roy Walker smack at me if I win that!

Right, I'm off to bed. A friend was kind enough to get me a copy of The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (out in October *scoff* *scoff*). I'm really enjoying it, the beginning was excellent but I'm only two chapters in. I shall report more next week.

Thanks for reading,

signed

Grey Freeman (soon-to-be-published-author *scoff* scoff*)

Finely Polished Words, in the pursuit of

A slightly late post this week.

It's been a fairly busy week this week. After the initial flurry of activity editing Act Two has frankly become a bit of a bitch. It's like starting a roll of sticky tape; I've just been skimming the surface unable to get my nail back underneath where it needs to be. It's getting easier, however, and I'm slowly getting back into it as I go.

I've written in new scenes I thought were needed, there's one I'm not sure will remain, there's a good chance it will get cut. Truth is I've never been sure about it, it breaks the flow of the story a little, I feel, but I really like the message it gives, I enjoy its juxtaposition with the status quo of the rest of the story, how human it is. So right now it has to stay until I either a) give in and delete it regardless or b) manage to fit the message in a different way. So that means it's just a massive A4 post-it note reminding me to try and get that message in.

In other news RWBW was rejected again. This time by Future Fire who said (and I quote):

"This was a well-written and convincing horror story, with nicely fleshed out characters and clever, well-paced narrative; the finale was especially chilling. However, the theme and content are not really what we are looking for in the magazine."

So that's 2 mags that loved the ending to 1 that hated it. A victory to me (for now).

That's all there is to report really this week. All there is left to do is copy and paste this section from Neil Gaiman's blog (link here to the full thing) which I found especially comforting and useful about the second draft stage.

"On the second and subsequent drafts, you do four things. 1) You fix the things that didn't work as best you can (if you don't like the climactic Rock City scene in American Gods, trust me, the first draft was so much worse). 2) You reinforce the themes, whether they were there from the beginning or whether they grew like Topsy on the way. You take out the stuff that undercuts those themes. 3) You worry about the title. 4) At some point in the revision process you will probably need to remind yourself that you could keep polishing it infinitely, that perfection is not an attribute of humankind, and really, shouldn't you get on with the next thing now?"

Thanks for reading.

A Weekend of Two Halves

I'm completely shattered.

Camden Crawl was a real blast and I had a really good time running around seeing bands, celeb spotting, drinking, dancing and laughing with a good crowd of friends.

Managed to get some writing done. The redrafting of Earworm is going very well and I should hopefully manage to finish it by next week.

I received two rejections from magazines this weekend. Here's the first:

Dear Mr Freeman,

Thank you for submitting "RWBW" but I'm afraid I'm going to pass on it. This tale didn't grab my interest, I'm afraid. Good luck to you with this one, and thanks for sending it our way.

Sincerely,

Fantasy and Science Fiction

A bit harshly worded I'm sure you would agree but this was word for word the same as their last rejection so it sounds like their standard message.

Here's the second one:

Dear Graeme,

Many thanks for submitting 'Of The Father' for consideration by The Future Fire. We enjoyed this story very much, but have regretfully decided not to take it for publication.

Although this is a very moving, convincing, and well-crafted horror story with an ominous and poignant twist developing gradually (rather than slapping the reader in the face at the end as many cheap and patronising stories do), ultimately it is not quite in the social/political vein that we are looking for in The Future Fire at the moment. This is not a criticism of the story, and we hope very much that you will consider sending us more of your work in the future, as I strongly suspect we will find something appropriate that we can use one day.

Many thanks again, and hope to hear from you again.

Regards,

The Future Fire

Much more encouraging. I read this one over a few times. So what now? Easy. RWBW will go to Future Fire (once I've double-checked their submission requirements) and Murky Depths have started asking for stories up to 10,000 words long so I'll send Of the Father to them. Brilliant.

Back to work.

Back Behind the Laptop

And I'm back from a lovely trip to Singapore. Feel quite strung out at the moment from jetlag but that'll pass and I've had a quiet day to recuperate before I go to the Camden Crawl festival tomorrow.

I saw lots of nice things, enjoyed the nice weather and friendly people and read a couple of nice books. I read Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill on the plane. I really enjoyed it, I found it a good story and thought it a very competent first novel, I'd like to think it was written around the standard I'm writing now, it may be I'm talking arse but it was encouraging and I'll definitely get the second book Twentieth Century Ghosts to see in what ways he's improved between writing the two.

Like I said I did a little work on the plane there and back on some short stories, I got my Mum to read them and tell me what she thought, summarised below [my thoughts in these brackets]:

The Red Samaritan: Interesting, felt sorry for the main character, didn't quite get the world they were in though and didn't quite get the ending.

[I need to change the tense from past to present, the general idea is good, needs a good work through to add details to bring it to life and bring it up to my current standards. I'm glad Mum liked the main character because I wasn't so sure, I need to make the secondary character more interesting. I've been too subtle with the 'plot twist' and need to explain some things a bit more blatantly].

Do All Prey Dream?: [I've been worrying about this one. When I read it through I could barely find a thing wrong with it. This made me very suspicious. it has to be wrong, I said to myself, it has to be. My Mum's thoughts can be put in the following conversation]

Me: So, what did you think?
Mum: It was alright. It was a bit sick in places, like he had a thing for his wife.
Me: He was sick, he did have a thing for his wife, that was the point.
Mum: Oh.

Later she went on to say she liked the way I did one scene and thought the perversion parts needed to be embellished and needed a slower build. I agree with her unreservedly.

Earworm: My Mum loves this one. [I don't think it's my best but I've decided to single this one out for finishing. A few changes to scenes, a few details added and embellished and I could hopefully have it ready within a week. Possibly the first that might get picked up, it certainly appeals to a wider audience, I reckon.].

So that's it. I'll have to go back to the other two at a later date.

Mum and Rob have started reading Act One (so they tell me). I'm glad I've given it to them, since I have I've started to argue with them in my head, thinking on what points they could raise and whether or not I agree with them. It's raised a couple of small issues from my subconscious that I need to work on but nothing big, we'll just have to see what they actually say, hopefully some very useful things.

Right. Back to work. When I got back I was so glad to be properly writing with everything I need to work on these projects I almost cried. It's so, so good to be writing again. The holiday was a good chance to recharge and taught me a couple of important things.

a) I absolutely love writing and couldn't be me without it
b) but it's ok to have a break from it every now and again.

Feeling Strangely Fine

I think Act One is nearly done. Yes, I've said that many times before but this time I mean in (no, really, really).

Today I just have to add some final details to a couple of scenes I don't think are quite done and then tomorrow I'm going to read it all through and hopefully declare it 'good enough for the time being' and then I'll return to it in a few months after I've finished with Acts Two and Three.

So hopefully on Sunday afternoon / evening I'll be able to email the results to my copy-editor Judith (more commonly known as Mum) and my all-round reader and criticiser Rob (poet extraordinaire, who was nice enough to sign a copy of that book he's in New Writing from the Royal Holloway Creative Writing Programme Bedford Square 3. Foreword by Andrew Motion). Hopefully they shall read it and find it good and I can get on with Act Two.

I'll be taking a little time off, of course, I'm off to Singapore for a week. I'll take some of my half-completed short stories with me to see if I can finish them off (titles: Do All Prey Dream?, Earworm and The Red Samaritan). That means when I do finish the novel I'll have a bit of a cleaner slate to start on some new projects.

Also have to be sure to print off another copy of RWBW to send to F&SF Magazine before I go.

Right, back to work. I'm feeling a bit groggy today, I think someone spiked my drink at The Roxy last night. But that's another story all together.