A Glimpse of Sunshine in November

Strange Horizons sent me a rejection today for Earworm Turns. So, I know, that means the title is a little misleading but SH has an acceptance rate of 0.92% so I'm not that annoyed. Abyss & Apex are next, whom I've never submitted to before so that should be interesting.

But today, I finished another sweep on Act Two and think that this might be The One. I shall begin reading it again tomorrow and hopefully the new novel structure will stand, then it's a case of tidying it up and then on to the third and final act.

It's days like this that I think I might actually finish this novel. So my head is full of dreams of literary agents and publishing contracts.

So today, I love writing.

On Praise

A bit more of the novel is done. I hope.

There was a lot of sitting and thinking, thinking about what I was going to write and writing whenever a thought of what the next line should be popped into my head. But this was happening a lot slower than I would have liked and I thought back to the time of the first draft when 2,000 words felt like they took a minute. I would think about how Richard Laymon says it takes an hour to write a page if an average author is having a problem.

I've been talking to a few authors recently, or maybe that's rather, friends who write. Of them, two others have said they're having problems. One who says the stuff they write now isn't as good as the stuff they wrote before and the other professed that their second novel isn't as close to their heart as the first had been.

I think it's something to do with experience. We know we're capable of writing a story or a poem but are any of us capable of writing a good story or poem? We know what we're capable of, we see it everyday, but is that good enough? Could we be better? We want to see in our own work what we see in other people's. We think it's good but is it really? There's plenty of overconfident amateurs who think their new piece is The Bomb and then find they're the only person to think so and writers, who pride themselves (sometimes) on being overthinkers can think 'Hey, I like what I've done. I'm pretty good' and then think 'that’s how one of those overconfident writers think. Ulp!'

There have been stories that I've written and then read months maybe years later and thought to myself, 'hey, this isn't half bad' and actually enjoyed it but when you try to see that in something you're writing currently that very rarely happens.

That's where praise comes in. I think right now, I need some. Just some sign that what I've written is at least readable, if not actually good. I would even like a 'it isn't there yet but it has potential. You should do this, this and this then it’ll be good.'

But who to get it from? There are always friends, colleagues and family members (if you can persuade them to sit down and read what you've written, which is sometimes tricky if they have other things on). And if they say it's good? Then you don't believe them because they know you and don't want to criticise or perhaps don't know how to criticise beyond an 'I like it'. So it's the praise of strangers you need. People with no stake hold in your emotional well-being. But how to get them to read it? Well, you either give it away for free or you get published and so there's the rub.

I suppose a writer at our stage needs to be strong, to just work at the novel, tell the story and let others read the good in it. To just keep going and hope that all those things you can't see are still there because in the end there are no words that scientifically make someone laugh or cry on command. You need them to bring the emotional content and enthusiasm for the story that you lament that you can’t simply write in for them.

At this stage you don’t write for what comments an imaginary person might give. You write in despite of them.

Thanks for reading.

Don't be hasty...

Things are ticking along this week.

Ghostlight Magazine rejected Kids today but kindly informed me, "P.S. This one almost made it. Please submit again," which was very nice of them.

I'm still final drafting Outlined in Chalk at the moment, but I'm worried I'm rushing it in order to be ready to tackle the novel again in time for my week off. These things can't be rushed, even though I don't expect Outlined in Chalk to really see the light of day for a good long while.

So there we have. There's all the news that's fit to go to print.

Thanks for reading.

No, really, this time

I do apologise. Blog has been rather scatty these past few months.

The difficulty comes from having acquired a girlfriend this past year. I must say, having a girl is pretty fantastic and, with this particular girl, any fear I once had of it affecting my writing has proved unfounded. My blogging on the other hand...

Things have progressed a little. The novel is on a temporary hiatus. I need a little room to think on it and so I've been concentrating on other projects. Earworm Turns has been getting a new redraft, which I'm pleased with. I've just sent it to Strange Horizons, who, I have recently read, have an acceptance rate of 0.92%. Tough going!

I am also entering the final draft stage of Outlined In Chalk, sequel to Of The Father. The girlfriend has read it and described it as 'disturbing', 'upsetting' and 'harrowing'. This was kind of the feel I was aiming for but to affect her in that way makes me feel bad.

The difficulty with this story is that I won't be sending it anywhere. Since no one has taken Of The Father, due to it feeling like the start of something, which it is, Outlined In Chalk, is even less likely to be picked up, so I'm not going to bother. It was good to write though, try my skills on a fresh piece, and who knows maybe it'll all come out in a book of its own one day.

Revolution SF still haven't published No Longer Living. I'm beginning to worry. Though they haven't published any new stories for a while but I can't decide if that's more or less worrying. Would be just my luck if they decided to just stop doing it at all.

Anyhoo, soon I shall be returning to the novel, as soon as I can shift Outlined from my Incomplete folder to my Complete folder.

It's tough, this writing gig.

Thanks for reading.

The Fear of Success

I've just spent a while looking for the name of the phobia of success for the title to this blog. I couldn't find it, though I did learn that there was such a thing as a fear of corners.

Anyway, sometimes I think I have it or at least part of me does. Last weekend, I was approaching the end of the latest narrative restructuring of Part Two. What would follow would be printing out Part Two in its entirety and filling in all the little missing details that would turn a sketch into a picture.

But, as I approached the final scenes that needed fixing, my mind began to turn to mush. Words and inspiration stopped coming and though I knew what I needed to do, it simply wouldn’t take the step from my head to the page. It's like being so excited or intimidated by the oncoming next stage that my mind's hand started to shake, my mind’s eye began to blur. So, I had to stop and go back to some earlier stuff that I knew needed fixing, hoping that when I go back to the end I'll be in a calmer, more productive state.

There is little else to report. Magazines have yet to respond to / publish my work and life, as ever, is ticking along nicely, supplying me with what I need but keeping back many things that I want, which, in it's own way, is the sweetest life gets sometimes. It’s more potential than past.

Thanks for reading.

Schrodinger's Publication Date

Planning is great. Other than the Saturday, on which I was working on a very hard scene, writing has been smooth sailing. It's been one of those weeks where, after all the weeks of worrying and stressing, writing has just come easy and you know exactly why this is the kind of thing you want to do (hopefully) for the rest of your life.

I've been writing and changing scenes in accordance with the new plan, some things have changes (for the better I hope) as they have occurred to me but the rest is ticking along nicely. I might even have finished by the end of the month!

Short story front is quiet. Murky Depths turned down The Old Factory Award.

"It's a very clever piece of wordplay. However, we're going to pass on this as it doesn't seem like a Murky Depths piece to us. "

So there that is.

Revolution SF have still to publish No Longer Living but I'm being patient and don't really mind not knowing when it will be. It's a philosophy that borders on quantum physics, Schrodinger's Publication Date, it is not defined or measured simply by the act me looking. It just is, whether I know the date or not.

Promises and Earworm Turns are going to get a bit of an update so I can start sending them again. Just re-read them recently and think they could do with it just to make sure that they're the best stories they can be. That's the worry about sending stories, you always wonder if they're turning it away because of a gaping plot hole they didn't bother telling you about, poor writing, the fact that you're a nobody when they could be publishing somebodies or a mixture of all of the above and more. This is just my little precaution so I can tell myself "It's all them, Tiger, it's not you. It's all them."

Thanks for reading

All in the Planning

A long while since I blogged.

Househunting and subsequent moving kicked my ass but it feels worth it now. I have a wonderful view of Canary Wharf, the Gherkin and the London Eye from my bedroom window, which is nice. The room is smaller than my last but that doesn't really bother my, as long as I have room for my desk and laptop I'm happy.

I've spent the last while reading through the whole book and writing out notes for improving Part One. It's quite old and not up to my current standard but still pretty solid. I'm worried the whole thing might be like painting a bridge; once you've reached one end the other end needs doing again. I'll have to make sure that doesn't happen.

But I also made a few notes for the first half of Part Two and then I actually planned what needs to happen in the second half. I've never actually planned before and what I've done seems pretty good. Perhaps I should plan more often. During the actual writing I also came up with a keystone plotting idea that should hold the entire second half of the second act together, give it some authenticity. Good stuff.

On the short story front, Rev SF are still to publish No Longer Living, should be coming soon and Murky Depths are currently 'enjoying' (my word, not there's) The Old Factory Award. Here's hoping.

They have a great writing competition coming up with Mike Carey (legend). I was going to save Promises for it, a story I was sure would win it, but it turns out that Mike has written a story starter and we have to finish it. A bit disappointing but I might still enter and see what happens.

Thanks for reading.