Sunday, 5 October 2008

Almost Something

This time next week I'll be 25 and 25 is feeling like the next chapter of my life.

I'm not one to worry about my age. I look back and find a number of short stories behind me, a novel that is progressing, another waiting in the wings and four aborted ones; a time of skills being built, groundwork being done. I don't see my youth as wasted and know there's still a good few years of youth ahead of me that I plan on turning into something to be proud of. I look forward, almost, to turning thirty and seeing what I've achieved in the next five years.

Two of the track titles of Amanda Palmer's album have been haunting me this week.

A Short History on Nearly Nothing
A Short History of Almost Something

I know which one of those I want to be able to call my life and though right now I find the redrafting a bit tedious, tiresome etc it's still groundwork that needs to be done and I'm determined to have something at the end of it that will make the past five years make sense.

In this new injection of passion (thank you, Amanda) I gave my new short story Promises, Promises to some people at work who said that they enjoyed it and gave a few pointers and some helpful criticism. I've spent the past week implementing them. Hopefully, it's near completion, I'm putting it aside one last time to see how the changes I've made settle into everything else, make a few changes and then it's off to Weird Tales.

The novel is still going. I've just bought a new printer. This one plugs right into my laptop! Before, I had to save my stuff on the memory stick, go to my old laptop and then print it out as my printer couldn't connect with my current laptop. But this one does! And it prints so fast! How did I survive without it?

My mind is still plagued with doubts about the first chapters of Act Two, I see things I don't quite like and I'm annoyed that there's still changes to be made and then get more annoyed when I don't sit still and make those changes because I want this thing finished. I feel I'm getting to that point where if I edit these parts anymore I'm going to start damaging it. I think they're almost as good as they're going to get. I need to move on to the next part but I'm terrified that they're not good enough.

Man up, boy, I tell myself. Don't be afraid of sending stuff out into the world, you've sent out worse and these days your worst is another person's 'not bad'.

Need to get back to work. 25 is looming and I'm going to use the last of 20-24 as something to look back at, nod and think Almost Something.